RETHINKING FEMINISM

Someone once quipped that women are not equal with men because if they were, there wouldn’t have been the need to be asking “Are they equal?”. That was the dumbest reason to quench feminism. I have tried, intentionally for long to avoid popular issues, they are not my calling. What has got an idiot with the issue that the masses know about?

I had thought I could remain silent forever, however, someone very dear to me brought me into this discussion. With the recent wave of many ladies declaring that “I’m feminist”, I think it is time the men begin discussing “I’m masculist”.

It is important that I remind some of those reading this that most of those who call themselves feminist in my generation will not read this to the end. That’s their first crime.

Feminism is a simple word that have been “feminize”. Again, this word feminism has proved that human beings find it difficult to understand simple things and they find it simple to understand that certain things are difficult. The fault however, is with us, we have made simple things difficult and have abandoned the difficult ones.

Historians have pointed to us that there are three waves of feminism. The most failed is the third wave, which is the one we are experiencing. I can assure my readers, that there will never be a fourth wave. If feminism (as it truly meant) was here to serve any good, it has done that perfectly. Those who insist on flying the flag of feminism are more like warriors of Persia flying the flag of Persia against the flag of USA in the 21^st Century. Also they are like the armies of Alexander the Great, challenging the nuclear weapons of North Korea. First wave of feminism fought for women’s equality to vote; second wave advocated for the social equality of women, they wanted women to be of equal standing with men, they wanted women to be offered jobs just like men, they wanted women to become President’s just like men and they wanted women to be independent. The first wave succeeded, the second was succeeding until the third stole the show and lost direction. First wave succeeded because they had a cause to fight for, the second was succeeding because it had a worthy cause and third has failed because it does not even know what it stands for.

Women deserve to have full rights, women deserve to be respected, women deserve to be the best that they can be, women deserve to be all that life can offer and women deserve the right to aspire for the highest height that they can aspire for. But no one deserve to fight for equality by entering into a competition with his supposed “oppressor”. One secret Martin Luther left for our crazy world is that we don’t have to destroy the other party before we become equal, we can become equal without hurting anyone. That is what this generation of feminist do not understand. They are calling on the male into a competition, they are inviting those whom they see as “oppressors” into a combat of words, ideas, status, class, etc. what they have forgotten is that, just having the right to call the fight has proved enough that they are totally liberated. They are so swift to ignore that their freedom is already found, by expressing that they are not free. Have you seen what most feminist are agitating for lately?

“I just heard that a guy beating a woman means his been passionate towards her...

I'm a feminist”

That is all it takes to be a feminist. And that is all it takes to become a fiery feminist warrior. Did you listen to Chimamanda Adiche’s “We should all be feminist”…. Such a good case for feminism, an easy case so to say. She made it all good there except that one of the main reasons she is a feminist is because she once gave money to a security man and the security man thanked the male she was together with. That alone was sufficient to make her feminist. Feminist of my generation are standing on the hardwork of real feminist to insult the struggle that those brilliant women fought for. While these women who think themselves feminist are busy struggling to fight a war that does not exist, their kinds are becoming Vice Chancellor of Germany, Prime Minister of Britain, Prime Minister of India, contesting for the seat of the President of the strongest nation on earth (her lost had nothing to do with her gender), and closeby here leading the entire people of Liberia. Mona Eltahaway became a feminist because she was raped, she went on to say that after being raped she had two options, to either become a feminist or become mad. So in her eternal wisdom, she could not become a lawyer that would prosecute rapist, or a president that would hunt down rapist. Another online source offered that “I am a feminist because I grew up in a house in which my mother and sister and I were victimized by a violent man.” Who likes violent men for heaven’s sake? We all hate violence. We are all fighting violence in every sense. Nobody claps for a rapist and say “go on, we the men are in support”. I think, feminism is an umbrella that empowers women especially young ambitious women to be ambitious and destructive. Destructive such that they ensure that there is competition with the men, they ensure that order is not created anywhere they are. Moreover, there are women that are violent these days and women rapist have appeared on stage too. Feminism is an institution that served its purpose well, at worst it gave us a Sojourner Truth. Women can vote, women can do everything including complain. If they can complain, it means they can change their entire story by themselves. The recent wave of feminism in Africa especially is not unconnected to the compulsory sense of relevance that millennials seek. Millennials think just carrying some banner is enough to make them heroes, banners such as “I am in the university” “I snapped with a celebrity” “I met this man or that woman” “I travelled to Canada” “I am a feminist” etc, such vagabond banners that help in making their life more confused. Wise, great, accomplished African women like Oby Ezekwesili, Amma Darko, Amina Mohammed, Ngozi Okonjo Iweala, Dora Akunyili, Kemi Adeosun, Alakija, etc have proved that the best way to represent women is to be successful. They have also shown the African feminist to be wrong, African women are free. They that allow themselves to be tormented are actually the problem that the feminist should endeavour to educate. In 21^st Century, everyone has a chance. Everyone has a clear voice. Maybe we need to give more attention to issues like rape, child abuse, broken homes, societal insults, etc but we don’t need to be racial so much that we make it a feminist struggle. The feminist that roam our streets have proved to be a group of hurt women who do not want to agree that “human beings” (in general and not male gender) have the potential for the highest evil. In us lies the strength to do great good, when not used properly, we can wreak the greatest havoc. The problem with this world is not masculine, or feminist, race or color, country or state of origin or climate change, or religion, the problem with this world is people. And in fact, if feminism will be fair it must crucify its Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, etc for advertising free porn via their dressings to a seeing world. Also, they cannot ignore Allison Madueke to go scot free.

The first wave of feminism served the feminine gender very well, the second wave executed its responsibility duly, and the third can be of great service to the world: that is to join the entire world in solving world problems and not trying to insist that they are feminist before acknowledging that they are humans.

One lie that the feminist have told us is that marriage is not relevant to them. One time, they claimed “Men are trash”. That is true, in movies like “Wonder Woman” but not on planet earth. Men and women need each other, they are not happy without the other. The highest satisfaction of a good man is a good woman, the highest satisfaction of a good woman is a good man. Simple. We don’t have to hurt ourselves again and again all because of a bad experience in the past, if you could live alone, then probably God would have dropped you in Pluto not earth.

Simone de Beauvoir wrote that "the first time we see a woman take up her pen in defense of her sex", sadly in 21^st century, for the first time we see a woman put up her lipsticks, eye lashes, take off her pants (Zodwa Wabantu has officially told us that she doesn’t wear pants), display her nudes, refuse to work hard,  and tell us “I’m feminist”.

If I was born in the 18^th Century, it would have been a feminist. A fierce one for that matter. Quite fortunate for me, I was born in the late 20^th Century, I am not advocating for feminism, I am advocating for the common cause of humanity, the rightness of human beings and the alleviation of human suffering.

Lastly, I would love to remind feminist that the greatest challenge they have before them is their fellow women. . Moreso, Chimamanda mentioned that it was a “she” (her teacher) that denied her the right to be a class captain. If women can vote for women, no man can win an election. Their problem is always them. The right way to advocate for any struggle is not by being a competitor with your opposition, rather it is by making yourself relevant such that you cannot be ignored. Feminism has been blemished to represent the strong virulent expression of certain feminine personality against the men, perhaps that is what they are. There was once a trend on twitter, #MenAreTrash, whatever that means, they are indeed and that is why women gave birth to trash.

This does not in any way make me a supporter of violent men, of rapist, of irresponsible men and of uncontrolled men. Rather, I am saying just like Amma Darko did excellently in her book “Faceless” that the problem of human rot is a human problem, collectively we can solve it. The age when women were seeking for a voice to express themselves is over, they now have a voice, they are using it wrongly, little wonder they are still seeking for more avenue.